Cool Runnings

For the first time in at least a decade it was “bobsled time.” My wife’s brothers came to visit us this week and we bumped Cool Runnings up in our Netflix queue so that they could have an opportunity to watch it. They live a fairly sheltered life, so the fact that they hadn’t seen a movie about an all black troupe of outsiders led by an abnormally hefty white male in the world of Olympic bobsledders shouldn’t be surprising.

My initial wonder in re-watching the movie was whether or not there would be subtle racism hidden in the crevasses of the story (as is the case with most outdated Disney movies)? Well, I’m sad to report (or happy to say) that no, there wasn’t. Sort of.

The movie, which takes us back to 1988 (or maybe ’86?) Jamaica, weaves a fairly formulaic tale of “little guy accomplishes big things.” Only in this instance the “little guy” is a group of bumbling caricatures donning remarkably stereotypical accents out to prove that anyone can succeed if they put their minds to it. There opponent? Several opposing bobsled teams of constructed of straight-laced caricatures also donning remarkably stereotypical accents.

Luckily for the movie (and really for filmmaking overall) the lovable losers of color had a smart, strong and capable white guy there to help out when things were down. Yes, John Candy played the role of the white dude from Avatar before Avatar was ever even thought of. (I’m pretty sure this is true even though apparently James Cameron had been thinking of the freakishly tall blue people for over a decade.) In fact, the similarities eventually lead one to believe (or at least ridiculously argue) that Cool Runnings was the inspiration for Avatar. I mean, think about it: unassuming group living in a utopia meet a nice white man that can help them in reconstructing their lives when something has gone awry. Whether that something be a pampered rich kid trips and devastates your Olympic chances, or a paraplegic “running” around as one of you comes just time for the massive, calculated invasion to which only he holds the key to saving your entire species of people. One in the same, really.

(The real fun part was reading the IMDb trivia and realizing that Disney basically massacred the true story so that there would be added layers of conflict within the move. For example, apparently countries and people were actually really nice and friendly to the Jamaican team. Not jerks, like the movie has you believe. That, however, doesn’t help to further the contrived “Us vs. Them” narrative that is so much fun for people to watch.)

After it’s all over, it really comes down to one main question: was it rewatchable? And yes, it was. It was just as goofy, simple and formulaic as I remembered. The moron with his lucky egg, the roided a-hole that doesn’t like his team, the suppressed rich kid, the over-weight has-been and the plucky go-getter captain were all once again welcomed into my family room for another trip down the slick trail, providing me with a sense of nostalgia as cool and crisp as the Canadian air they endured.